Thank-you! I never thought I could do it before but now it feels easy to just wait it off when I feel the need :)

I’ve been purge free and cut free for over a week, I’ve actually been feeling what might be normal. My sweet 16 was the best because it was very showy and not a dance party. I’m actually feeling confident enough to think that the Guy I like might like me. Please try to recover! It feels kind of amazing :)

im-a-beautiful-disaster:

People who stuff their fat into their pants, and like..try to look like they are a smaller size than they are and convince themselves so. 

I can’t stop staring at this. I do this. My mom taught me when I was like 10. I fucking do this. I’m 5’7 I weigh 185 and my fat ass fucking does this. Its the reason I can’t eat like a normal person without purging, overdosing laxatives or feeling like complete shit. Its the reason I cut the shit out of myself hoping that one day ill run out of blood. And its the reason I want to die almost every day of my life. I fucking do this. And I can’t stop re-reading this. Its going to kill me.

But for some reason they’re two hours late…and I’m at church…killing the bathroom. I just hope I don’t shit blood this time

“I love food way too much” “and I hate throwing up”. I couldn’t even lie. I just sat there quietly looking around, spacing out. And then I said “throwing ups not that bad…”

She has no idea l. And I have no idea what to do at this point. I’m a lil screwed. Lets see how long I can hold this off… attempting to create a tumblr and pretend it was always there.

whythef-ckcantibeskinny:

Me

I just went half an hour without thinking about my eating disorder, calories, cutting, wanting to die, etc. That’s the longest I’ve gone in a while. Maybe now I can recover…..just fucking kidding. It was a good half hour though.